Can pain do good?
Julia Samuel explains that as a child she learnt that denial was the only way to manage sadness and loss. We will all grieve, yet we turn away from facing death, and are therefore ignorant and unable to help ourselves when it does happen.
In this TED Talk Julia explains that grieving is a form of learning, and that pain, unfortunately, is the agent of change. Pain is the curative part of grief; it is how we heal. we adapt and grow through loss.
We learn that the very thing we least want to do, is the very thing we most need to do.
We also discover that our love for the person who dies remains, and even grows. When we allow ourselves to grieve we discover that we are forever changed by it, and that change is experienced as growth.
So, yes, when it comes to grief, pain can do good.